feeling seen.
circa July 2019.
I believe that many people take for granted to ability to be seen.
For the longest, I considered myself an unofficial wallflower. Always in the mix, but I never dived deep enough to be fully noticed. I’d get the occasional acknowledgements, but I protected myself just enough so I wouldn’t be too much. As I grew older, I realized that the concept of shrinking myself became a part of my nature so much that it was (and still is) hard to break out of. Occasionally, I fall into the cycle of overextending myself to make up for all the times I shrunk and hid. Often times, I still feel small.
Yet when I became tired of the box I tried to fit myself in, I stepped outside of it. As I overextended myself, I almost missed the unspoken superpower that kept me hidden. You see, what I failed to connect was that being seen really meant being seen. With every move I made, I wanted to take two steps back. Uncertainty, doubt, and fear crippled me with every move. I never felt as if I was doing enough, so I measured each choice against the choices of others. My confidence and ability to create dwindled and instead of producing art that I was proud of, I was in a never-ending maze that led me to how others would see me.
The process of feeling seen is an experience.
Like an amusement ride, feeling seen deals with not just the highs, but the lows too. It is displaying your favorable traits and qualities while also being okay that your imperfections and quirks are on display too. It’s recognizing that although you may not have all that you want, you are put together even when some pieces are shifting, and you are enough. Most importantly, feeling seen is choosing yourself always. Again and again. Because you are enough.
ribbon in the sky, 2019.
eden, 2019.
